Script Draft

AFTERNOON

INT. APARTMENT. INSIDE MR. BRIGHTSTAR’S ROOM.

WINDOWS WIDE SHUT WITH ONLY THE SLIGHTEST LIGHT PENTRATING THE ROOM. A GLOOMY AURA SURROUNDS IT. THE ROOM IS IN A CLUTTERED STATE, REFLECTING ITS OCCUPANT’S STATE OF MIND.

POV: MR. BRIGHTSTAR IS LOOKING CLOSELY AT HIS COLLECTION OF FRAMED NEWSPAPER HEADLINES. HIS FACE CAN BE SEEN CLEARLY FROM THE REFLECTION, A PICTURE OF EMPTINESS AND MISERY, REMINISCING ON WHAT WAS. HE MOVES TO THE SIDE STARING AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. THEY ALL DISPLAY HIS HEROIC AND EPIC FEATS, SAVE FOR THE LAST ONE. THE GLASS SHATTERED, IT IS A CONSTANT REMINDER OF THE DAY THAT REDEFINED HIS LIFE. A HUMILIATING DEFEAT, ONE OF HIS OWN MAKING DUE TO HIS RASH DECISION.

MEDIUM LONG SHOT/ESTABLISHING SHOT, HIGH ANGLE: MR. BRIGHTSTAR IS STANDING IN HIS ROOM. HE LOOKS DOWN, LOOKING AWAY FROM THE PICTURE FRAME.

CAMERA PAN, HIGH ANGLE: CAMERA FOLLOWS AS HE WALKS AWAY. HE THEN SITS ON THE COUCH AND PUTS HIS HANDS ON HIS FACE.

MR. BRIGHTSTAR (INTERNAL MONOLOGUE): I’ve never been the same since the incident. I lost my powers and now I feel like I have no purpose.

OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT, HIGH ANGLE: HE STRAINS TO USE HIS POWERS BUT TO NO AVAIL.

Every day I try. Every day I hope that my powers would come back. But every time I try, it just gets darker and darker. 

MR. BRIGHTSTAR STARTS WEEPING. THEN A GENTLE KNOCK ON THE DOOR INTERRUPTS HIM. HE LOOKS AT THE DOOR.

MID SHOT: THE DOOR CUTS THE SHOT IN HALF AS BOTH SIDES ARE SHOWN BUT IS SLIGHTLY TILTED TOWARDS THE ROOM. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR IS WELL LIT.

MRS. BRIGHTSTAR: *Knock knock* (Muffled) Hey hon, are you alright? *Momentary silence* I.I…I cooked something. It’s your favourite.

MR. BRIGHTSTAR: *Sniffling* I’m not hungry…

MRS. BRIGHTSTAR: *Awkward sing-songy voice* I made it extra yummy for you. That’s right! More cheese!

MR. BRIGHTSTAR: Go away, I’m not hungry…. I…I’m….. busy. *Wipes away his tears*

MRS. BRIGHTSTAR: *Agitated voice* Busy doing what? I know it’s been hard for you lately and I can never imagine what you’re going through but it’s also been tough for me. Please don’t push me away.

MR. BRIGHTSTAR: Don’t make this about you!

MRS. BRIGHTSTAR: I…I didn’t mean it that way. It’s hard for me to see you like this, it breaks my heart every time. Don’t push me away, help me understand. Let’s talk about this.

OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT (MRS. BRIGHTSTAR): MR. BRIGHTSTAR OPENS THE DOOR, LETTING LIGHT SPILL INTO HIS DARK ROOM.

MID SHOT: THEY ENTER THE ROOM AND THEY BOTH SIT ON THE COUCH. HE DISTANCES HIMSELF, LOOKING AWAY.

CAMERA OVER HIS SHOULDERS

MRS. BRIGHTSTAR: This doesn’t have to be your burden alone. I’m your wife.

CLOSE UP

MR. BRIGHSTAR: I’m not the man I used to be. I’m not a world-saving champion anymore. I never realized that I could lose my light. Now, without it I feel like a burnt candle.

MID SHOT

MRS. BRIGHTSTAR: Hey, hey. *She holds up his chin* You’re still the light of my world.

CAMERA ZOOMS IN. THEY SHARE A SMILE AND THEN THEY HUG, HOLDING EACH OTHER TIGHTLY. SLOWLY FADE TO BLACK. 

Character Profiles

Protagonist

Name:  Mr. Brightstar

Age: 30+

Race: Light Being

Gender:  Male

Living Situation: Middle class family man

Occupation: Former superhero

Personality - Best Traits: Bold, Lively, Enthusiastic, Brave, Righteous

Personality - Flaws: Arrogant, Rash, Reckless

Desires/Likes: Wants his powers back, Save the world, Be the man his wife fell in love with, Protect his family, Save people from evil forces, A challenge, Being mighty, Lasagna

Fears/Dislikes: Not being able to protect people, especially his family, Fall short of his wife's expectations, Losing his powers, Losing purpose, Feeling useless, Evil


Supporting Character

Name:  Mrs. Brightstar

Age: 30+

Race: Human

Gender:  Female

Living Situation: Middle class working woman

Occupation: Shop Manager

Personality - Best Traits: Cheery, Quirky, Observant, Thoughtful

Personality - Flaws: Awkward, Short Tempered

Desires/Likes:  Cheering up her husband, Cooking for him, Singing, Having quirky fun, Watching Movies

Fears/Dislikes: Evil doers, Losing her husband, Drifting apart from friends, losing her shop/job, Burnt food

Feedback

The feedback I got concerns mainly the ability of the superhero and how it ties up with the theme. My initial idea for him is that he is able to bend reality to fit the brief given to us. But his abilities has to reflect his personality. I made a character template which I will upload soon. The idea I have based on the feedback I received is that his powers are light based. His personality is that he is a white knight; bold, brave, lively and enthusiastic. He is always ready for a challenge and confronts them with energy and courage. But he is also quite arrogant leading him to be rash and reckless. This resulted into him acting as such during one confrontation which later became an incident that redefined his life. He's thinking that without his powers, he's nothing. He is now a broken man without a purpose, at least that's what he thinks. He overlooked the fact that his wife still needs him and that to her, he is not nothing.

I reckon the feedback I got really helped me flesh out the character more and refine the theme and the story itself.

Story Ideas

I came up with 3 story ideas for the group cinematic project.

The first one is about a superhero who struggles to come into terms with what has happened after an incident, affecting his relationship with his wife. He used to be a world saving champion but after losing his powers, he feels broken and lost. This results into him being distant towards his wife. But when he is confronted by his wife, she tells him that although he can't save the world, he could still save her world. The character is going to be 3D. His powers are going to be animated in 2D. My initial idea for this is that he is able to bend reality, being a 3D character himself. But he loses his powers and it turns into 2D which basically doesn't do anything. I mixed superhero and family drama genres for this one.

My second idea is about a creature that is blackmailing a person to be its companion. It has a bomb inside its mouth ready to explode. The person reluctantly complies but in the end, the person realizes that all it needs is a friend. I haven't really fleshed out this idea. The idea is that it's going to be a 2D creature with a 3D bomb inside its mouth. I mixed buddy comedy and sci-fi for this one.

My third idea is about a person who is fed up with his/her life and struggles to control the ticking time bomb within. The bomb is a 2D character which tells the person that he/she is a ticking time bomb and that a mental breakdown is inevitable. It has a 3D pocket watch to constantly remind the person of the inevitable. The person doesn't speak at all except when talking to his/her boss which is the source of his/her stress. It is mostly internal monologue wherein the bomb narrated everything the person is feeling inside. It is a quite a mischievous character, urging the person to punch/hit the boss which he/she does at the end. I mixed psychological and comedy for this one.

I really like my first idea and I'm going with it. I really like mixing the superhero genre with quite a tragic drama about trauma and how it could affect one's relationship with someone and/or his family.